Psychedelics has made me a better person.
I schedule it. Just like I would schedule a massage or a doctors appointment. It's part of a commitment I made to mySelf. For my self discovery and growth.
In fact I see my psychedelic doctors more often than I see the doctor-doctors. That's a rant for another time.
I sometimes take for granted how blessed I am. To be able to drop in and explore mySelf with psychedelics. I recognize not everyone has that ability or opportunity. Some might even think WHY?
Psychedelics alone can be wonderful experience. Combined them with intention, ceremony, and commitment to personal growth. That's big magic.
This is also why I do this work. To assist those who are not as privileged as I am. For those who want to use psychedelics to initiate change but don't know where or how to begin.
I was reflecting today how I was such a control junkie for most of my life.
Plan, plan, plan.
Conduct, arrange, force my will, suffer.
I was wound so tight. If life didn't go according to my plan I suffered and so did everyone around me.
Psychedelics have been big lesson in surrender for me. Releasing my control over to the psychedelic teacher was my first healing.
An initiation in trust, in releasing control and believing that the universe has my back. I work on integrating that lesson every day. When I say work please understand its an ongoing process.
I sometimes wonder what my life would look like if psychedelics hadn't found me. Would I be a stressed out business woman on the verge of divorce or a heart attack?
Would my kids avoid me because I was angry all the time? Would my husband find ways to be busy to limit contact with me?
Working with psychedelics has brought more joy and balance into my life. Through integrating the lessons in my journeys I find that I have gained more of an ability to pause and choose how I want to react to situations.
The goal being to living a life without unnecessary suffering. Suffering that I inflict upon myself of course.
Do I still get caught in the bullshit? Oh for sure. I can tell you I don't stay there long. The pendulum swings back from being suck in the shit to living in harmony faster than it had in the past.